Even a happy biking Sunday does not hold a candle to the uncertainties in my life right now.
I came out here thinking everything is all ironed out. I was wrong. I should not have taken the word for it. I thought when I fly here I just have to finalize things and work on my Singapore pass and yet, things did not turn out as I have imagined it to be. Yesterday was probably one of the most heartbreaking moments in my life.
I went to the preschool thinking everything was secured and certain. I was REALLY wrong.
I have never felt so devastated in my life. Of all the places, why in a country that is 1,500+ miles away from home? I feel like everything that I have prayed and hoped for is some sort of mistake. Did I misunderstand everything? Was I too confident that I missed out details about my job application? I do not think so. It was cleared out to me that I was hired and for the last step, I just needed to pass some documents.
Friday or Saturday. They said that the result of my application status will come out in either of those days. I cannot take the anxiety and pain any longer. But yeah, all I can do is wait. I do not mean to sound like I am being negative in this exciting chapter of my life; however, this is becoming more bizarre as it is. I am already thinking of going back home. I really am.
Probably, if Marti is not emotionally supporting me, I will just curl into a ball and cry all day. Thank you for always keeping me together and standing strong not just for me, but for the both of us. I love how you always put a smile on my face even when tears are rolling down my cheeks. I cannot thank you enough for always reminding how strong and loving person I am. I love you very much.
3 more days. 3 agonizing days.
Keeping my head up and keeping the heart strong.
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